I have been meeting people, especially since I’ve added some years, that are telling me and everyone they are in contact with, what they did and what they were. They talk about how much money they made, what positions they held, what projects they accomplished and how important they were and are.
Granted, there is a major process involved in adjusting to retirement. However, it is a personal process. It is part of establishing a new identity and ego.
A relative who was the “go to guy” for knowledge in his division lamented that no one had contacted him for his wealth of information since he retired.
A friend, who several of us were meeting for ice cream, received a phone call asking his advice and how to do something. He talked on-and-on, for a half-hour or more, while our ice cream was melting behind the counter. His order, which would finalize the ticket for the rest of us, kept us waiting.
I could see his pride and excitement about the phone call as he had sort of been ignored since he retired. But I, and the rest of us, wanted our ice cream. NOW.
There are those out there who are extremely impressed by the “past news” of others. It seems like they need to borrow those histories to boost their own. They speak in awed tones of those people and what they did. Just knowing this history seems to give them status, and if they are personally acquainted, it is a major source of pride.
Others speak with disdain about people who proclaim their wonderfulness. They scoff at the trophies and pictures depicting their past successes. They scoff at the autographs these people have collected, just knowing celebrities.
All of it is “yesterday’s news.” What is this person today?
I kind of view these accomplishments and successes as freshly-picked corn. As it comes out of the field, it is delicious. Every day it sits after it is picked, it loses its flavor and nutrition. The nutrients deteriorate. It can still be consumed, but the flavor is gone. The corn has nothing left to brag about.
The news on TV is not even called “the news” anymore. It is “the news program.” A few current events are presented, then a recorded event from previous days is run for several days, at various slots to fill time. “Yesterday’s news” and a lot of which isn’t even news, it is a contrived occurrence, such as somebody’s recipe at a restaurant, is the content that fills the program’s time slot.
Older people, such as myself, have been discussing what we are going to do with our “stuff,” our belongings which are precious to us. The consignment shops and charity outlet stores are filled to overflowing with formal dishware and furniture. Some who had specialized in furniture, for example, have gone out of business. No one wants antiques.
That is us.
When we discard “yesterday's news,” it permits our moral fiber to emerge. Our kindness and caring in some, and pettiness and meanness in others.
I believe all that we did and accomplished has coalesced into who and what we are today. Our accomplishments have served to formulate our ego and confidence. What we did then was a measure of our strength and capabilities. It is a tangible value that helps form what we can be and do today. True, some of what we did needs to be discarded. That is where knowledge comes into play. Don’t do that again.
One of the card players at my friend’s table dresses to the hilt, describes where she purchased her clothes and how much they cost and how bad the food served is. She is not adored.
A cardiac surgeon I knew used to visit a woman in a small rural town. He had met her on a church-sponsored trip. She had no noticeable education and no noticeable accomplishments. He just wanted to sit at her kitchen table, in her kindness and caring, and eat a piece of her pie. Her sister, who had married an attorney and held down good jobs, could not understand how he picked this mild-mannered woman over her.
As I have traveled this journey to re-enter life, I have disdained other people’s attempts to measure me by “yesterday's news.” The loss of my spouse wiped my slate clean. The hurt and pain of being left alone, placed me in a pit from which I have to climb out. “Yesterday’s doings” provided no ladder.
My loved one gave me a beautiful rainbow one day. It was a message saying “see the beauty of now.” The colors individually symbolized uniqueness in ourselves and others. They form a union; coalesce into our being and others’ individuality. The rainbow is transient — be what you are in the moment. Make visible our individual and coalesced colors.
I am still trying to be that “now” person. Sometimes grief throws me back into the morass. Then I have to look around and see what is now. My neighbor doesn't feel very well today. Maybe I can drop some soup for her.
Little Dog has already figured it out.
It is time for her walk. NOW.
Let me know how you are doing. I care.
Contemplation: Consider discarding yesterday‘s useless news.
Sincerely,
Lynn Brooke
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Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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