My friend had knee surgery and sailed through initial recovery in record time, able to do laundry, feed her pets and maintain her own personal hygiene with minimal pain meds.
Then came rehab, which will make her leg fully functional. Rehab caused swelling on top of the initial swelling from surgery and big-time pain. She consented to take an opioid on occasion, but is very fearful of becoming addicted.
Pain is hard. It takes a physical toll on the body and uses up energy. It is hard to endure mentally.
There have always been methods to dull pain, from Chinese medicine, herbs, and pressure points, to desert plants and manufactured opioids. Mindfulness and use of cold and ice may also help.
Medical personnel are prevailed upon to give treatment for pain, ranging from surgery to pills to counseling. We place a lot of pressure on these professionals, and harass them for relief to make us comfortable.
I don’t experience much pain, other than some knee pain from an old sports injury. What I do experience is mental, emotional pain. It hits me like a sledgehammer. It engulfs my entire body. It is the consequence of loss and grief. It leaves me exhausted. I want to curl up in a ball and escape.
I expect it would be very easy to kill this pain. There are medical people who would give me pills. They could find a reason for narcotics. There are sellers on the street who have the same pills. There are anti-anxiety pills to tamp down the discomfort. There are self-soothing alternatives, such as eating when pain starts, drinking or going on the Internet and buying stuff to take our minds off of the pain.
I have rejected, mainly, any of those, although I do eat comfort food. I don’t want to become an alcoholic, a drug addict, chronically overweight or neurotic. I believe it is necessary to endure this mental anguish to recover from grieving. I believe if I don’t experience it, that it will go underground and cause me problems for the rest of my life. As short as it will be, I want to re-enter the world in a somewhat healthy state, at my level of mental health.
I can do this, and am doing this. I am not terribly courageous, but I am finding the mindset to do it. I do enter my cave and avoid the outside world when I am overwhelmed. I permit myself to not be social.
To those enduring physical pain, I know what courage that demands. For sure, I believe it is crucial to alleviate the pain by pills and alternate methods. The body needs rest from the onslaught of pain to heal. That is temporary. The body will become functional.
I don’t know how those with chronic pain endure it. Most have been told things cannot be repaired. What courage it takes to endure. I have a friend with chronic pain. Sometimes she distracts herself from it. Sometimes she has to take pills to dull it.
I can understand why those with severe pain are virtually forced into what I label self-defeating behaviors, why they drink, why they become addicted. It is a matter of survival for them.
What I cannot understand is the escape from emotional pain. Is it because there is no back up? Because no one really cares? Because of the extra burden of being alone and being so lonesome?
I feel privileged. I have friends. Old friends and new friends that are in contact with me, who ask how I am doing, who come to my house, who help me re-enter life.
I hope you have the same, someone who cares if you are in pain.
Let me know how you are doing because I do care.
Contemplations: There are positive and negative consequences to pain intervention.
Sincerely,
Lynn Brooke
© 2023 Our New Chances
Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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