Life lesson: You know yourself better than anyone
Some people seem to make decisions so effortlessly. An issue arises and, “boom,” they immediately know what to do.
Some of us who are trying to re-enter life after a major loss like death, divorce or betrayal, become numb and are often completely unaware of it.
When the numbness starts to wear off, however, you will know it. You will begin to see the world again.
It took me quite a while.
In the meantime, we may have all sorts of helpful people deciding what is best for us. They may wish to choose where we should live, what to do about clothes left behind, how to rearrange our house, what to do with our pets or where and how much to socialize. The decisions some people may wish to make for us go on and on.
Remember, the one who knows what is best for us is us.
Do we want to sell the house?
Where should we live?
Should we dispose of her clothes immediately?
Where should we move the sofa?
Do we really need, or want, a pet?
Are we ready to go out among strangers?
I have found the best thing for me is to take time to think about these questions. I don’t need to rush into things. The outcomes of many decisions are final. There are no do-overs once the clothes are gone. There likely is no way of getting them back.
I like to make an “options list” with at least two alternatives, sometimes three, such as:
Advantages of selling the house versus Disadvantages of selling the house
A very wise person once told me, “when it is right, you will know it.” We need to give ourselves time. We need to listen also, as others may have the answer. I have made some major decisions, backed off from some and resisted pressure from so-called know-it-all do-gooders to rush into things and let myself trust myself.
I will not give her clothes away right now.
I will not sell the house.
I will keep my pets.
I will be living with myself for a long time and whatever decisions I make about re-entering the world will have long-term consequences. I, not others, will make a decision that is the right decision and the best decision for me.
I may move the sofa.
What decisions have you made? Let me know how you are doing. I care.
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Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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