Demons get cast out. At least they used to. Maybe they still do.
Demons that invade the body and make it do crazy things. Slam the body into things, on the floor, against the wall. Eyeballs race all over, zigzagging, trying to escape their orbits. Just watch out.
Exorcists get called to do their thing, to get the demons to leave.
Whether from my memory of a fictional event or real life, I don’t know. Sometimes fiction arises from real life. A young woman was totally cocooned in a blanket. The exorcist laid on her, pressing her down, exhorting the demon to leave. The young woman quieted down. The exorcism was successful. When the cocoon was unwrapped, the young woman was dead. She had been smothered.
I know what those demons are. They have invaded my body. They have a medical name. It is called vertigo. The balance crystals in the inner ear have escaped their moorings.
I have it. My first attack was about 45 years ago, spinning and wanting to vomit. There was an advanced practitioner in the area who knew exactly what it was. Get into rehab where there was a therapist who knew how to treat it. There are physical maneuvers to eradicate it. It worked, and they didn’t have to wrap me up in a cocoon to do the magic. The vertigo went into remission.
Three years ago, after my spouse fell and broke a hip, I was attacked again. It was serious enough to get the walker out and bumble about. It went away on its own after a few weeks.
Last year, I was hit again and this time it wouldn’t go away. I finally found an audiologist who knew how to treat it, and did. The only problem was when I suddenly dipped my head after the treatment the result was disequilibrium. That didn’t go away.
There is no treatment for that, doctors just rule out causes. There was no explanation this time, other than to go to rehab and learn how to deal with it.
I know how to deal with it. I must change my entire life. Be safe. Know where to step. Stand up slowly. Turn around slowly. Don’t be stupid. Learn that my previous life is over. Deal with it.
Now I have two things to deal with. My loved one just died and I am incapacitated. I have the dog and a tortoise. Deal with it. Figure out what I am going to do. Live with it. Don’t dip my head down. Figure out how to get things off the floor without bending over. Dog is 6 inches tall. The tortoise is 4 inches. At least the dog can jump.
After the audiologist treatment, the vertigo was gone. The demon was defeated. I also learned to live with the reality that there is no treatment. I must adapt. The glare from the computer screen is no help either.
I’m good to go with the vertigo in remission. Disequilibrium is a reality I must continue to combat. I must be careful.
A week ago in the bathroom, the demon struck again. It was like an earthquake. I’ve been there before, so I knew what to do. Get into a doorway and hang on. I was slammed. The room spun and tried to buck me to the floor. It kept spinning around. I grabbed onto the door frame and held on. Message: “Don’t go down.” I held on. It passed. It was probably just a freak hit as there were no previous precipitating dizzy spells.
This time, it was the other ear. It had attacked with a vengeance. I knew it was time to seriously do the preventive exercises to keep this demon under control. They worked for a little while.
Two days ago, I happened to be leaning over a corner of my bed. I found myself on the floor. I was slammed down. There was no warning. I found myself down. The demon had lifted me up and slammed me down sideways. I hit my knee. I knew it was broken. I had hit so hard.
I can understand why people are thought to be taken over by demons. These attacks manifest all the symptoms of the supposedly demonized.
The religious pray the demon will be cast out.
The exorcists have their rituals.
The medicals have drugs (that don’t work) and prescriptions to go to rehab to learn how to balance.
Rehab and vertigo experts have their exercise regimes.
In the meantime, I find out, it seems every other person I talk to (now that I am talking to people) have, or have had or know someone with vertigo. There is no cure. It is incapacitating.
This is not a unique issue. As we age and even before, things happen. We have to learn and deal with them.
I keep referring back to Havighurst, a developmental psychologist, who categorized our lifespan into stages. Unique learning has to occur in each stage to have life satisfaction and happiness. Ignoring or denying the necessity of adaptive learning can only result in bitterness and anger.
The reality is that as we age, we lose strength and develop issues. We have to learn how to deal with these issues. The last thing I want to do is ask for help. I want to do what I used to do. It's kind of hard when I can’t bend over to get stuff off of the floor.
I couldn’t 100% take care of my spouse as the Dementia advanced. I had to have caretakers or transfer into a facility. How could I take care of my loved one with this persistent vertigo?
Even though I am alone now, I have to develop an entire new life plan. I have to reassess what I can still do, and what I can’t. That doesn’t make me happy, but I would be very unhappy to have an uncared for house, or find myself in the hospital with no plan for who is going to look after my dog and tortoise.
It is possible the vertigo will go away in a week or two, if I diligently do my exercises. It could go into remission again. That would be a bonus.
What is reality, however, is my age advancing and ultimately the necessity for needing help.
In the meantime, as I do my exercises with the ceiling spinning above me. I fantasize I see the demon’s face embedded in the ceiling.
I think I will get a target gun that shoots suction cup darts. I will nail that “B” as the ceiling whizzes by above me.
I think I will also put a sign on my refrigerator: In case of an attack, do not call an exorcist.
Maybe at least someone will not cocoon me in an exorcism.
I still have bridges to cross.
Let me know how you are doing. I care.
Sincerely,
Lynn Brooke
P.S. Reflection: Demons will try to take over our lives. We are the ones to cast them out.
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Photo Credit: © 2023 Rachel Gareau
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